Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
