Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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