looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
