And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
