I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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