just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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