I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Shame is for Republicans.
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