xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
