So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
