the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
