Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
