Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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