I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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