There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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