She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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