I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
