i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
