the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
