thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
