And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
