She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
