Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
