Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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