I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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