Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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