everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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