omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
