we're blogging at a bar
did you get engaged???
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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