I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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