i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
