Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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