i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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