Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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