Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
