yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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