Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
