So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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