so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
