So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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