Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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