we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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