Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Two words: blizzard sex
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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