I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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