If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
