I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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