i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
