Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
