So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize