Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Best friends brother. Beat that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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