I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
