i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
why is half of my head shaved?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
