Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My vagina just clenched in fear
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
