it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
