Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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