No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
