Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
