Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
