he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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