then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
