I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
