He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just invented taco cereal.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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