either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
