After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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