I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
