At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
