I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
