ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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