Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize