Got a toothbrush?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i out mim tonsoeep
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