Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
